Yup.....

Well, yes it's true.....Donnie & Nolan are going to have a new sibling soon. :) I am pregnant! I know the suspense is killing some of you, so I'm not holding out any longer, I might burst at the seams if I don't say it soon!

At first, I was hesitant to even post this because I didn't want it to come across as being ungrateful or selfish, but initially when we first found out I really wasn't that excited I was pregnant again, so quick. A little shocked, a lot scared, and a whole ball of emotions rolled up into one. Therefore, making it a little hard to put all my feeling and emotions into words and post it. Kwim? Of course, after the initial shock and surprise has set in (because we weren't "trying" per say, but I'm not going to explain our whole birth control method...TMI, just know it DIDN'T work, obviously!) I'm slowly warming up to the idea of 3 children. And 3 car seats. And 3 bedrooms for the kids. And a minivan not doubt. And 3 children UNDER the age of 4. And 3. And 3. And 3. And just the pure insanity of the next few years of my life! But, with that said I am getting more and more excited, can't you tell?

Some worry and doubt and guilt has set in most definitely. I'm not so much worried about Donnie (the more demanding of the two) and this new baby who will soon be joining our family, but I'm really worried about Nolan (easy going Nolan). I don't feel that Nolan will even have a chance. Major guilt has set in about adding a new addition to our family so soon, when Nolan will only be 20 months old. He's one of those kids who, thus far, hasn't really demanded our attention (*ahem* unlike another little boy in our house:) maybe this will change with age though...?. His easygoing personality could be easily taken advantage of by us. Will he simply be swept under the rug while I'm tending to new born? Yes, most likely. Will he be slighted with our attention and love? Not love, but attention most likely. Will he have the middle child syndrome? Ummm, not sure about this one, as I only have one other sibling. Does my little Roley Noly even have a chance? Those of you that have 3 children, or nannied 3 children close in age, or are one of three or more in your own family.... tell me you thoughts, your opinions, your experiences, I'm very curious to know... It might put my mind at ease.

I know this post is all over the place with feelings & emotions & concerns...sorry! At any rate that is our news!! I am slowly getting more excited each day thinking about expanding our family again. A little nervous as well. But, we know we have been blessed to get pregnant with a healthy child again (which is in our prayers each and every night, as that is ALL that matters to us.) We are grateful!

God works in mysterious ways....

A little baffled, a little scared, lots of strange feelings going on today.... Not really ready to explain yet, just still working it through in my head.

Bummer of a day :(

SO, it's Nolan's BIG DAY, his first birthday and ...... nothing. That's right nothing for him, but a double ear infection! Poor baby. :( He's in bed snoozing for the night. No cake. No ice cream. No presents. No candle blown out. Nothing, nada. He was just too sleepy to even care. :( I think it's harder on me than him. We'll try this whole thing again tomorrow, I'll just pretend in the pictures it was his real birthDAY!

Mixed emotions...almost the big day!

A year ago today, I was crying in Dr. Farhat's office, begging him to induce me. Nolan's due date was actually today, May 6, 2008, but Nolan obviously was still just chillin' out in the oven wanting to bake a little longer (fat little terd)! Anywho, Dr. Farhat said we could induce because Nolan was gonna be a decent size baby... about 8.5 he anticipated, and once again like always Geraldo (I mean Dr. Farhat) was right. Originally he was going to let me go a week past my due date, then induce (I can't imagine Nolan being any bigger)... man am I glad I whined nice & LOUD in his office. :) Thus, Nolan Jeffrey Huff would make his grand entrance on May 7, 2008!

So, I'm having all these weird emotions with Nolan's First Birthday:

• Sad, very sad this year has gone by in such a blink of an eye... this second time around everything has whizzed by...
• he's already had his first smile, rolled over, sat up on his own, crawled, taken his first step, blown his first kiss, said his first word (Ma' ma'), all those firsts are gone... & it makes me sad, teary eyed sad ;(
• missing that new baby smell, that sweet aroma of a brand new baby's skin. Ahhh... there's nothing in the world like that smell.
• enjoying all that Nolan has brought to our family.... his laid back demeanor, his happy go-lucky personality, his silly little laugh, his growling like a T-Rex (courtesy of Donnie), the way he scrunches up his nose and makes this weird little face, his love of food, his stumpy legs... he needs those to hold his roley little body though, right ;), just his roley little self makes me smile!
• the great little friendship and bond him and his brother have, I never would have imagined how much I would love having boys until I saw these two together. I'm absolutely enamored with them.
• wondering if this will be the last first birthday that we celebrate around here.... we're still in the "I don't know, maybe, stage" ??
• loving the fact he's becoming so very independent, remember I really start liking my children after about the first year of their life (even though I will miss those milestones)...not a fan of the baby stage, which is the whole first year, imo.
• anxious for all the new big boy stuff he's gonna be able to do this summer.

Everything is just going waaaaaaaay to fast, I need to stop time somehow and savor and cherish and live all those precious moments, smells, and firsts again .... *Ahhhh* sigh. Who knew a first birthday could be SO traumatic on a mother.?